"Memories of another life fill my thoughts. They tantalize my dreams. I remember most clearly a face I cannot see. He was kind and gentle, with a strength unrivaled. In his embrace, the universe of my soul was led to peace. I remember his cascade of raven hair that tangled with my silver locks to resemble the night sky. To onlookers, we appeared as a fairy tale. Our passion was as real as the sun, and matched in intensity only by the strength of our love.
Where I felt lost, unable to find a trace of myself, he appeared. He was always there with me. Warm and comforting, he became a part of me. My shadow. My anchor.
Tragedy struck, and we were separated. Forces beyond out control found me in a new body, with only vague feelings of something missing. As this new body grew, I could recall more and more. The way his voice calmed the storm inside of me. How his touch left a trace of fire on my icy skin. I see him in everything now.
As I search for him, the void left behind aches. It trembles with loneliness and heartbreak. I've mistaken so many for him. Each time I see a new aspect of a person, I search unrelentingly for more similarities. The way they speak, the way they treat others. The little mannerisms they have. Once, I found someone so much like him that I was willing to accept the possibility that I'd never find him. This new love of mine was strongest I had felt in this life. Strong enough that I didn't mind if my first love was even real or not.
But I was merely a plaything to him. A fallen angel indeed. Beautiful and charismatic, and deceitful. Capable of sewing the most beautiful fantasies, I believed his lies for far too long. Now, as I discover the depth of my injury, I fear that I cannot ever love like that again.
I met a kinder soul, and I was quickly drawn to him. After three years of pain, I felt a familiar burning. Though that love has no future, it gave me hope. Now all that is left is to continue my search. Perhaps I might not recognize him, but maybe my heart will."
View User's Journal
The Mind
Mainly a record of my more interesting dreams that I was able to remember after waking up. (Apparently my uncontrollable confessions, as well. In the form of poetry. All to the same man.)
If the boy who draws
lets you look over his shoulder.
If the poet
smiles
and shows you her words.
If the girl who sings for the shower only,
hums a song
in front of you.
Know that you’re no longer a person
but the air
and dust
that fills their lungs.
When the world perishes,
and all things cease to exist,
you’ll remain inside an ink stain,
a paint brush,
a song.
— Alaska Gold
lets you look over his shoulder.
If the poet
smiles
and shows you her words.
If the girl who sings for the shower only,
hums a song
in front of you.
Know that you’re no longer a person
but the air
and dust
that fills their lungs.
When the world perishes,
and all things cease to exist,
you’ll remain inside an ink stain,
a paint brush,
a song.
— Alaska Gold