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Since I've been told I need to update my journal since the wedding, I figure I'll do that now. Forgive me if I ramble, I'm really tired.

Soren and I were married on Gaia April 1, 2006. It was a ton of fun, though I wish more people could have showed up. I also wish we had gotten more gifts, but that's just me. And I loved everything we did get. Don't get me wrong. I really just wanted more people to be there to celebrate.

We unfortunately had to end the ceremony fairly quickly, since Soren and I needed to rush home to take care of a family emergency. We continued the RP later that night, but we did have to cut things short. The wedding is still available and running in our guild...check it out!!

In real life, Soren and I (yeah, for those of you who have been following my journal, Soren is Jon from previous entries...Jake moved away as an update. We really weren't very well suited for eachother) have been getting along fairly well. I just wish I could find the right ways to show him how much I love him. We fight a lot more frequently, but we tend to make up a lot...and its a lot of fun to make up now!!!

We're doing pretty well, but any suggestions on how to spice up a relationship would be greatly appreciatd. We recently passed the year mark ( I really can't believe it's been that long!) and I love him to death.

I do have one issue, and since he never seems to read my journal, I don't think this will be a big problem.

As I mentioned numerous times in previous entries, he insists that he doesn't want to get married. Recently, he's been saying he just doesn't want to get married NOW, which I totally respect, but I do wish I knew if his timidity came from being with me and not having been with many other people or if it was just that he really wants to wait until his older and more settled. But it has become a bone of contention between the two of us and I hate bringing it up, since it seems to stress him out. But I can't help it. I always want to know if he has intentions to settle down with me, or if he really thinks it will end and we'll move on. I love him to death and never want to be with anyone else. But we're both looking at going off to grad school, and I'm worried we may not last through then.

Although I know I always say I advocate the mantra "If its meant to be, then it will happen", its just that I'm going through a slump where I'm thinking of changing life plans and don't want to make a decision to be with him and have that not come to any fruition...or to just always be his live-in girlfriend.

Are my fears validated? I don't want to keep bugging him about this, since neither of us can predict the future and it troubles him so...but I wish I had some sign that he intended to stay with me for forever. I just don't know. I get so nervous that this will end, because it is so perfect. I love him dearly and never want to lose him...but I'm afriad pushing the point will only serve to push him away...

Anyone looking for back story...there are a number of entries not shown in the "log" on the side, so if you really want to get to the good parts of the story, you have to keep going back...