I know I have said this before but I just feel like I need to say it again.
I know people love me and that's the reason why they try to protecte me from myself.
I doubt I need to say it again but just in case here it goes.
I purge, I fast ,and I don't want to feel ashamed about it anymore.
for the most part I don't.
it's only when I get tolled that they are mad that I feel ashamed.
people should see me for the most part, I say it and proudly, " I have purge x amount of times this week" and I'm ok with it as long a there are like minded people near me because they don't make me feel like s**t about it. they understand.
sure,there are times when it is an unbearable hell and I wish to die because I can not stand it any longer but I think that that comes with just about everything in life.
I broke my fast today and I am fine with it.
but I'm not going to lie about it, I know I will try again tomorrow.
now, if people don't want me to do it then let's be honest about it.
yes,you have ALL said "don't do it it's bad" ,well I have a simple solution to it.
I just won't tell anyone anything anymore.
and while we are at it here are some facts.
fasting
it's good for you cause it cleans your insides.
it's not "starvation" until day 42 which is when there problably isn't much fat left for a normal person to stay in a fast and if you know me then you know that I can stand for 42 days cause I am fat
I want everyone to let me be.
I know what I'm doing is horrid for my body but like I've said before, no one says s**t to people who stuff themselves silly with unhealthy food and drinks or atleast not as much as they give us anas,mias and anything in between.
most of the suppost sites are down because of people's stupidity, since afterall you can just seem to "catch" an eating dissorder by just reading about it and ofcourse we, the ones who already have it, don't need understanding cause we just need to eat, so I guess we are not aloud to have ana friends who don't give us s**t, we are not allowed to converse with liek minded people, who if you ask them how to purge they will tell you that they will not say a thing cause they don't want to be responcible for any bad actions you may commit.
why aren't we allowed to have sites anymore? there are support groups for everything out there.
and to be truthfully honest,whenever my day was bad my ana friends would cheer me up.
not cause we both had a disease but because we were friends.
yeah,that's a horrible thing to have among us isn't it? is just horrible that we had a place were we didn't need to pretend and say what we feared and cry.
thank you norms.
thank you for making our disease a bit more unbearable than what it already is.
*claps her hands* way to go. stare
 yamiruri · Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 04:21am · 0 Comments |
