Man ... I swear. I hate what I am. I hate how I look I hate that Im alive. I look at myself and I dont see something I like. I feel like .. I havent done whats right. I think about myself and the things I do .. or the people Im around .. and I wish I could be someone else. I mean the people Im around are good in the terms of friends but when it comes to my family .. they drive me insane. I love each and everyone of them... but they just can see when they are wrong. And they always have to be at each others throats and make me be in the middle. Between my dad and his mom, my mom and my dad, every time my dad gets in an argument with a family member thats one more person I cant talk to or one more person who is going to judge my dad on everything I do making me feel like I have to be perfect. Perfect manners, Perfect room, Perfect grades everything. And I dont want that. I dont want my teenage years to be spent trying to be only the best and ignoring the fact that Im still a kid and want to have fun and be ... young. Im always being looked down on. Or being judged. I hate it .. I hate how much pressure they put on me to be perfect and never have emotions. I get yelled out for getting angry or frustrated because of the things they do to me. Its not fair. I start to feel sad - I get yelled at. Its stressful and give me anxiety.
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