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No one has happiness they say. I beg to differ. Somethimes there is no way out. And maybe I have fallen so far I don't want a way out. Where I stand it's cold and lonely but this is the way I want it to be. I've given up on chasing after him, my knees have grown weak and my tears are still trapped. Why can't I let this out of me? Why won't I just let go and finally cry? That's what I want right? No it's not. I want hardship in my life, and to wander alone forever. As much as I try to fool myself and say that I want to spend a lifetime and more with him. I simply can't. I don't belong that way. I don't belong at all. So I say take back that open hand and take back the warmth in my soul. Leave me to suffer this way for I see that you are not there. Stop dangling above me. Don't pretend to be my savior and end this cruel life. I can see that what I need is not in this world but another where peace breathes.