So...I've got my mind in a jumble. I have a guy who's avoiding me. Who im so mixed about. I like him, i don't, i like him, i don't, and i like him more now than i did before i left him. The same thing is happening with Rob. Its so weird how i had my heart set on Charlie, and then Travis. And still i have my heart set on T but idk anymore. He's in college, Who knows whats going to happen with girls...new friends...new life...the texts are already minimal. I'm just so mad at myself. Here i am. I have life going the right way. No more cutting, Im going to be in school. I'm....for the most part happy...But something is missing. And i keep telling myself there are only two guys i want more than anything. And i can't have either of them. They're both in college. both much older...
Things are just so weird in my head....
I haven't stopped thinking about Rob since i left him i swear. Like i miss the constant zombie talk. And how damn funny he was...Seriously i used to die when i wasn't talking to him. I really did believe i loved him as well...I think the way i was so scared about texting him and stuff had to show that some how. He was just..Awesome. Oh and so cute. So very cute. He's just...him. I loved it.
Travis is just...Travis. Hes ******** funny. Uses ! allll the time. I love it. I love how happy he always is. Okay not always but quite a bit. And idk...it makes me really happy to know he's happy. And knowing i make him happy just makes it ten times better. SERIOUSLY.
And then there is Mikey. Hes just all around fun. Being with him i laugh sooo much. And he's so mature I thought he was 16 when i met him. Not 13...and i just love spending time with him
I wish i had one of the two here...To maybe help. To give me some kind of support..or something yaknow?
Im scared of getting hurt by all of them...I've been hurt too many times and im not ready for my friendships to crumble down because of this....
Ugh i hate the way i think...
Comment or not..i don't care...
 Drop-Dead-Dinosaur · Sat Aug 22, 2009 @ 03:38am · 0 Comments |
