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Bleh I wrote this for a competition in the Poetry section of the writing section of Gaia. It was supposed to be a love poem without using a bunch of words, but I can't remember what they were. I know one was you weren't allowed to use the word love. They were all words used alot in love poems....I don't know how much I like this poem though, since I don't do love poems much at all. ::shrugs:: Leave a message about what you think. 3nodding The Pheonix This phoenix burns inside my mind As the words drip from your lips Poison It burns me Sears me Scars me Kills my desire to be alone How could you do this to me? How did you do this? Destroyed my defenses Melted the ice Broke down my barricades And stole into my soul Get thee from here I beg you, stop this attack A word A smile Your breath I'm hypnotized You came so easily and caught yourself A wondrous beast How tame I became At the touch of your hand I've become ensnared Tricked into this trap How could I not fight? And yet I'm hypnotized I was wild and free A lone wolf among many But your trap was so perfect I belong to you now With a simple command you call me to you Such a good pet, I obey To your side What is this spell, this curse placed over me This magic you've spun with a simple Hello How? When? Why? The phoenix in me strives to break free But it burns for you now I breathe for you now The wild for you To be your loyal pet You've trapped me And tamed me With a simple ------------Kiss PS:: Remember people, there's more than just this. Please read more and leave more comments? biggrin

Posted by: Rass Wed Jan 12, 2005 @ 05:07am

[b:723929a83e]A First On TV

This is the twentieth century,
you are there, preparing to skin
a human being alive. Your part
will be to remain calm.[/color:723929a83e][/b:723929a83e]

-David Ignatow[/color:723929a83e][/align:723929a83e]

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Lil Draggy Waggy Kins
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Commented on: Thu Jan 13, 2005 @ 08:36pm


	Wow..... that was gewd... heart

Commented on: Fri Jan 14, 2005 @ 05:43am


	Very good. I like your writing, but there is one thing about it that makes me think it could be better. I don't know, but it seems like I have read it before. It might just remind me of something, but it just seems so formular... anyways, ya, pm me some time. I would like to have someone to talk about poetry with. Hope to see more of your poems soon.

xEtherealxScarsx
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Riktanisha
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Commented on: Fri Jan 14, 2005 @ 06:45am


	Really good. I like it. If you'd like, PM me and we can talk about poems and such, I could send you some of my poetry ^.^ My poetry tends to be darker... well... keep writing! huggles

Commented on: Fri Jan 14, 2005 @ 07:05am


	Yeah i agree with evry1 else this stuff is really good

Mister Black
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Burning Sosobra
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Commented on: Fri Jan 14, 2005 @ 07:17am


	Im usually more into dark poetry, but that was really good... Funny, how I read this when I'm dealing with the stupid feelings of having a crush and whatnot.....very awesome, vividly detailed, and greatly done. I love "How? When? Why?" part... the confusement makes it better, because love isn't predictable...it's just like that.. You dont know how or when or why (or a vague idea), but it just does..Funny how things work that way...almost ironic.. "How could you do this to me? How did you do this? Destroyed my defenses Melted the ice Broke down my barricades And stole into my soul" Another favorite part.. Kind of like the first one, the whole "how" part... So unexpected..and something undefeatable.... clap clap clap Bravo.... biggrin

Commented on: Sat Jan 15, 2005 @ 12:10am


	That Was A BEAUTIFUL Poem! Its Like you Can Truly Feel the Emotion Of It. well Yeah You Can! I Write poems also But they're Kinda Teen Style with All The Love And Romance! You Know how It Is! Well Keep It Up You Got Skillz! xp

JoanieLovesChachi
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Mr Flibbles el Sex0rz
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Commented on: Sat Jan 15, 2005 @ 12:18pm


	I love it! heart It really had a strong emotion running through it. 3nodding I wish I could write poems like this. Keep up the good work! whee heart

Commented on: Sat Jan 15, 2005 @ 12:40pm


	wow! its really deep - I like it!!! biggrin

Sinistraa
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Silverami
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Commented on: Sun Jan 16, 2005 @ 10:38am


	Wholey...the immagry you create is so advanced. Ill admit, i came for the prizes for posting (lol) but wow! These poems are so original! They're outstanding! Since when did we have a poetry board? sweatdrop

Commented on: Tue Jan 18, 2005 @ 09:58pm


	After reading your latest entry, and then this, I'm beining to think you preffer to do depressing poetry, no? Possibly try lightening up some of your work. If you keep the same mood the whole time, people will begin to loose intrest; Nevertheless, beautifly done.

Kit_San
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.Chaoist.
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Commented on: Tue Jan 18, 2005 @ 10:20pm


	-claps- Well done! I love the way you set it up, very good!

Commented on: Fri Jan 21, 2005 @ 02:39pm


	<center> I like your style of writing you can see it, like peoples styles of drawing so to say ^^ I love the way you made the person describe themslves as a wild beast tamed at the touch of love and the pheonix the first verse is my faverate again the first 2 lines work too well together xD I like the way you ahve described love as a attack that no one can escape from.. it is very well thought out.. did you win it? I have only written one or two poems but meh its not that good really im not too great with words </center>

Suiish
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[Taito]
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Commented on: Wed Apr 27, 2005 @ 11:38am


	As usual grammie, another great poem. I really do like your more angsty poetry and it's almost as if it starts to wither as you go along. Of coarse as your life changes you poetry will too. I look forward to more in the future 3nodding heart -Kiro-

Commented on: Wed Jun 01, 2005 @ 06:16am


	Heh. It's almost like you have to write about <i>love</i>, which most would consider a positive thing, negatively. But, hey, positive is boring. As stated... I love how you wrote about it like an attack. It certainly does feel like that... especially when you've become used to solitude. Heheh, another awesome poem.

[..-Punkrock.Penguin-..]
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Lan-neko
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Commented on: Sat Jul 16, 2005 @ 01:30pm


	I find it interesting that you used a phoenix for a love poem- very creative, very original. In the beginning, it seemed like you had a certain structure going for the poem, but then somewhere in the middle and at the end, it didn't go along with that structure anymore, so I assumed it was more of a free verse. Still, it was a really good poem, and the word choices were great. I enjoyed reading it ^ ^

Commented on: Sun Jul 17, 2005 @ 04:25pm


	*<~~>Intreguing... I think that's how you spell it. xd I can actually picture it all and it's so... exquisite.<~~>*

Swift~Wing101
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grandkinglink
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Commented on: Sun Aug 21, 2005 @ 06:40pm


	wow this is a really good poem i must read more of yours you seem to be a good poet have you ever heard of the website allpoetry.com? thats where i go to post all of my poems

Commented on: Sat Sep 10, 2005 @ 08:09am


	The Snowman's opinion: Brilliant. The Snowman reccomends you keep up the good work.

sadahsulrerhawkerkehrwqe
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Fulaingt
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Commented on: Sat Jan 28, 2006 @ 03:42pm


	When i started reading this i thought i wouldnt like it but i do.My favourite thing in this is the way you pick a single image for each stanza and expand on it.It makes a great read.

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