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June, and my nineteenth birthday passed, And I kept spending time with them. I spent as many nights at their townhouse as I did in my own bed, and didn't think anything of it. Then, one night, in the fall, Vlad woke me from a sound sleep; in my own bed, which was surprising. Neither Vlad nor Edward had been in my apartment since I'd known them; not even to collect me.
“Alexander. Get up. It is time.”
“Time for what?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. We'd had a double show; plus full rehearsals- I hadn't been planning on going to see them, instead intent on catching up on lost sleep. But I got up anyway, pulling on a clean shirt. “What's going on?”
“Hurry. It's colder than it looks out there.”
I came down the stairs pulling my gloves on. He was right, my breath fogged around me, and my light coat was almost not enough. Edward and Vlad both stood hands in pockets beneath the halo of a street lamp at the end of my street. I ran towards them, tossing my muffler over my shoulder.
“What is it?”
“Tonight's the night.”
“What?” I was confused. Edward reached out to touch my face, then turned away.
“Vlad wants to show you. I wouldn't.” Vlad looked at him sharply. Edward sighed deeply.
“You know a great deal about us.” he said with his faint European accent. “But tonight you're going to watch us feed.”
“Feed?” I put my hand to the base of my neck.
Edward gave a choking laugh. “It's not the same.” I touched his shoulder, as Vlad led us through streets and alleyways.
“You're really worried about this, aren't you?” I asked.
“I'm going to ask anything of you.” Edward said, taking my hand.
“Shhh.” Vlad called. “It's time.”

I really don't know what I was expecting. But I know I never took any harm from Edward's bites; but clearly they weren't anything more than love bites. When they took his victim, there was no love, only passion. Logically, I should have been able to watch. Emotionally what I should have felt was jealousy, it could be seen as the same attentions they paid me. Their victim was female; perhaps that was the difference. Even now, I can see the image vividly, but I cannot say what it was that made me run. I had watched as if paralyzed as they isolated and attacked her, but as the body collapsed into nothingness and a pile of clothing, I turned and ran, without thought, only panic. What felt like miles later, I collapsed against a wall, and retched, until my stomach was as empty as my chest felt. Then I collapsed further, clutching at my arms, feeling the cold acutely. I tried to stand up, and collapsed again.
“Xan.”
I choked on a scream, and whipped around to face-

Edward. He looked the same as normal; but I couldn't look at his face. There was a drop of blood on his tie; I wouldn't have noticed, if I hadn't known him so well.
“Oh no Xan, please.” He reached out to me, and all I could see was horror.
“No!” I scrambled backward.
“So, Alexander.” Vlad had flanked me, I was trapped between them in an alley. “I see Edward was right. Your eyes see us so differently, now?”
“Are we truly monsters in those beautiful eyes?” Edward asked, sounding half in tears.
“Not... not monsters.” I breathed. “But...”
“You look feverish.” Edward commented, and touched my arm.
“Don't touch me!” I yelped, and backed away. I was embarrassed, but I couldn't help myself. There was hurt in his eyes.
“Alexander; those that see us feed are either dead or like us. The time has come; and you have one last chance to make the choice.”
“I... can't.” I said, looking for some way out.
“I'm sorry then.” Vlad reached for me, Grabbing hold of the front of my shirt. I yanked away, and stumbled into the wall of the alley, turning around. I could feel Vlad coming up behind me as he spoke. “I will have to make the choice for you then. You may hate me for a while; but it should pass.”