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just writting
okay so what i haven't written in a while.Don't for one second expect nothing has happened.I am fully a wallower in self pity. i no the boy that i loved so much is not meant for me and i must let him go,instead of becomming a creepy computer stalker.My grandpa is out of surgery from a recent heart attack,and he is starting to gain appetite(after weeks of scaring us with his insane talk and his non-eating spree.)As one goes in, the other goes out,now my friend is gone to Indianapolis for surgery and i told her i am praying for her(i have been for a while)Now the trouble making boy who told me he loved me is gone.I actually kinda miss the dope.He was a good friend,who i could kinda relate to. ahh alas,i don't know how exactly you unfold love.I feel like there was one more thing i should of told him as he walked away from his locker for the last time.....what would i have said?...i cried in tech class today...let's face the facts a week girl,who feels useless,and is easily forgotten about isn't going to have a good time in any classroom setting.Why did i burst out into tears as the jigsaws roared,you say? Love,it stabbed a deep void in my soul and i am still paying for it to this day.I saw his picture he drew for his locker which was at my team table by the way.My mind kept telling me things like "take his old notebook and peek inside" and answering thoughts said crap like"it doesn't matter anyway,he isn't coming back for it" and,"if you see his writting you'll die of agony".My mind is a b***h and i do not wish this upon anyone.My team asked me what was wrong and i sucked it up to admit part of the reason,i wish i could of been more usefull while i had the chance.ME AND MY SISSY GOT MATCHIN' BEATLES SHIRTS WEEEEEEEEEE THATS FUN RIGHT BYE BYE GOTTA WATCH A CHEEKY ANGEL.
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