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The Day I Died Because of My Computer.
One day, I turned on my computer to hear it go BEEP-BOOP, but it didn't go BEEP-BOOP. It went BOOP-BEEP. I was like, "what's up with that!?" So I took my entire encyclopedia collection and rammed it in the computerand said, "There, now you're smart," but it still went BOOP-BEEP. In a final act of desperation, I crammed my CD player into the disc drive and said, "There, now you know how to play music," but it still went BOOP-BEEP. I was like, "What's up with that!?" and took it to the computer store. I told the guy about my problems, but he said in a really doofy voice, "Well that's what they're supposed to do." I Said "No, they're not," rolled the guy up into a carpet, and pushed him down a hill into the meat grinder. Then, the cops came. I had to think fast. I grabbed the nearest object I could find: a turtle. I said, "The turtle did it!" The turtle just went "Wha...?" The cops said, "What proof do you have?" I said, "He's remaining silent! The one who remains silent is always guilty!" The cops shrugged and took the turtle away. Then I slipped and fell into the meat grinder. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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