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SCREW THESE DAMN BERRIERS THEY MAKE ME SICK! I HATE THE FACT I CANT LET ANYONE CLOSE! IM NOT GOING TO LET MY EX-STEPFATHER CONTROLE MY LIFE ANY LONGER DAMNIT!!! if i keep acting this way hes won....ill NEVER let that happen! he hurt my mom and i will never let it happen to any one again!!! if i can i will protect whom ever i can. i WILL NOT let this happen to my future children! i will take control of my life! NOONE WILL CHANGE THAT.........EVER. even if that means i have to stay with darac. i acctually want to stay with darac...i mean...do i love him because he was my first boyfriend? or is it some thing deeper? do we ever really find our "true love"? if you believe in god then u probably believe there is a heaven and hell. or in reancarnation. but is there really? i dont believe so but that dosent mean you cant. i wish darac was my "true love" but i think i just love him cuz he was my first. im really confused about my feelings. if anyone has the right wisdom for my aching heart please tell me what i should do...and even if u dont have the right wisdom please give me suggestions. i hope i havent bored u with this tale but im turning over a new leave...i think. im going to show the deeper part of me. in one of my entries i will tell you a lot about myself. mabe some info that dosnt need to be known might come out but just ignore it. i want to tell people and thats what im going to do.
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