|
|
|
to understand this journal, you have to have read the previous one (which was prolly only read by zoe, cuz at random times she reads a million of mine xd ) anyways, so yeah, i was really wrong about that whole "getting into a sport will make my parents proud of me" theory. i was under the impression that "since now they're proud, they'll go to my game tonight and watch me rock on my sax on the field" but i was wrong... no worries, i'm used to that. they only liked band when ash was in it.
but even before i left to the school, my dad was getting so bi-polar on me. it was like this:
"how was school?" <-- obviously a sign that basketball is getting me recognition from them finally.
"stupid. freshman year teaches you nothing."
"Oh, i'm sorry you feel that way."
...silence...
"What's wrong?" <-- that's how he always starts up an arguement.
"nothing. Just kinda tired."
"god, don't snap at me!"
"How's that snapping? you asked me what was wrong, nothing was so i was being honest."
"whatever" and he walked away.
later on....
"Jess,i'd take you, but tia [my dog] is on me and i don't wanna disturb her"
"that's cool, mom will take me" <-- mom had just offered a second ago.
"No, wait for me to move the dog, i'll take you."
"No, don't worry, mom'll take me. she already offered. Just chill."
so then my dad gets all: "she's obviously pissed at me. God, stace just take her." and blah blah blah. what the heck? hello, you know i'm on the rag, dad! hello, you know how emotional women are. are you asking for a fight? is that what it is? are you a lil b***h who only wants drama? evidentally!
s**t, i wish that my dad could stay proud of me for more than a day. my mom is always busy and s**t but my dad doesn't do anything but rave about how great my sis is. i'm livin in a shodow and noon will never arrive to save me from it.
hey, that was a pretty good metaphore. haha, if that's even the right figure of speech. i don't care at this point. all i care about is the fact that i had given him another chance without even realizing it. and i knew that giving him more chances would only make me sad, and still i did it. some things we can't control, even if we are in charge. that's just how it is, so i'llnever turn my back on him entirely. i'll never turn my back on a lot of stuff. i just... i dunno. i just can't.
 the_forgotten_thought · Sat Nov 22, 2008 @ 06:15am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
