|
|
|
i must say, i've never hated school so much as now. honestly, i'm doing absolutely NOTHING for most of the day! though i do have some of my funniest moments there (course, they're only funny cuz i get to make fun of those idiots in my classes *cough* catherine *cough*)
anyways, i'm sitting here debating about whether or not i actually wanna start (wanna is the wrong word. how about "whether or not i'm actually gonna start) my ten ******** page essay on the catcher in the rye. have you ever read the catcher in the rye? if you haven't, consider yourself blessed. i don't need some remedial reject telling me about all the fakes and crap in life. i think i've already learned about that s**t.
i think i'm gonna be an alcoholic failure with no job when i grow up. like, when i think about it, all these things i WANT to do, i hardly ever can, so why would things change just because i'd be forced to do it all on my own? the only guarentee is that i'd be able to buy my own booze, and that's the last thing i need, haha. i dunno. i don't wanna be cocky and call myself smart or anything, but i feel like whatever talents i have are just gonna be wasted. like, i CAN'T be whatever i wanna be; i don't know what i wanna be. i want an imaginary life with no stress and no troubles; an island of my own where i can sit and philosophize as i watch the sunrise and not worry about how i won't be able to stay awake in class the next day, or how i'll be passing out at work, because i won't have work. i'll just have me. then again, i'd drive myself crazy, so after awhile, that dream would be a nightmare.
i dunno. maybe i've been listening to too much ska. maybe it's just that it's the 3/4 mark of the year and im realizing that nothing i've done in school has gotten me any further in life. i dunno. all i DO know is that i don't wanna write this essay, i don't wanna take my math test, and to be quite honest, i don't wanna do anything. not sit here typing, not sleep, not die, not live. i wanna just sort of fade outta existence and into a dark abyss. i'm sick of being part of the world and i'm sick of watching it. i just wanna take a break from it all.
tomorrow i'll be better.
 the_forgotten_thought · Wed Mar 10, 2010 @ 01:41am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
