yeah right. anyways, i've been thinking that i should totally become a new person. you know, be less sarcastic and sadistic and other s words that could possibly describe me *cough* *cough* slow... stupid *cough* *cough*
and perhaps, you know, try to raise my self esteem a lil. i mean, think about it (or not. i'm pretty much writing for my own benefit) i'm always either depressed or angry or apathetic. but i WANT to find enjoyment in every aspect of life. i wanna be perfectly content! i want adults to hate me less cuz they realize i'm not just a stereotypical adolecent who thinks they know everything, is a total angst, is totally on something or up to something 24/7, etc. i mean, i dunno if looking at the bright side of life and finding happiness is gonna make adults hate me any less, but if i don't think that, i'm not looking at the bright side at all and would be making no progress.
anyways, i only think this cuz i feel like such a burden. i mean, the way my parents are talking, my cousin, my uncle- everyone for the most part- i'm a pain in the a** and i don't even have to try. which sucks increadibly. do you think that looking at the bright side would make them think a lil bit more of me rather than assume i'm a high-maitnence lost cause???
my life sucks c**k right now. i wish i could make it stop. i wish it were easier to look at the bright side. but everything is dragging me down.
********! i'm failing already! and i only started less than 5 minutes ago!!!
but i'm not a destined failure. GOD HAS GREAT THINGS IN MIND FOR ME! i should paint that on my door. or get a tattoo of it. or a shirt. i think a shirt. i dunno.
bam! bright side seen in that last paragraph. WHAT NOW b***h!!!
... anger management sessions, prolly. haha. ok, later
wish me luck on my quest for happiness! i love you guys!
 the_forgotten_thought · Sun Jul 06, 2008 @ 06:31am · 1 Comments |
