i'm simply lost IN my mind. trapped in the darkness of overthinking and inappropriate stress. stress that isn't pain, yet if it is, it's a masochistic pain that i can't stop, not because i neither like it or hate it but feel that it belongs. belonging is all we humans ever really want, so wouldn't it make sense that a pain would be the same. we make our pains a part of us afterall, for if we didn't we'd be nothing more than a lessonless blob, a baby, nor rather an unfullfilled empty being. and it's bizzare to think that a pain could possibly be the one thing that makes us human, but it is, in the end, what makes us grow strong.
i don't wish to think of it as a pain, however. i want to think of it as a void. a void which i must find a way to make filled, for i don't know what's missing, simply that it's not there. and maybe it's all in my head, for i'm lost in there anyways and it's easy to make a misinterpretation. still i can't help but wonder that if it is a void, what could i be missing. i have friends. i have family. i have music. what could it be?
and now i'm here. sitting. chatting. as if nothing could possibly be wrong. so far from the truth that it's almost impossible to think that one could beleive me. and yet. people find me so trusting, when i fear i can barly trust myself. spilling my guts for the whole of the world to see.
and yet i feel that perhaps i am pouring you my soul for help. perhaps you could help me fill the void, supress the pain. perhaps there is an answer i didn't stumble across in my searches for whats wrong with me. would you like to tell me it if you happen to know?
ok, thanks for reading. later. loves you.
help if you can, cuz i feel weird.
maybe i just need some chocolate?
 the_forgotten_thought · Thu Aug 07, 2008 @ 07:34am · 1 Comments |
