i noticed that i've been writing a lot but haven't been giving updates on my quest to always be happy. i only have 12 more days until i beat my record, so i'm happy. anyways, today i'm going to hp's party and guess what? i was reminded that i'm a woman this morning! it kinda bummed me out, but i don't care, cuz i'm not good at swimming anyways. besides, i'm sure that at least one other person will be sitting out of the pool to keep me company. if not, i can always leave early.
my parents are leaving today to go pick up my prep sis. i'm not so sure how to feel about her return. i mean, it's inevitable, and i love her. but the way she talks and acts and speaks her mind... it's just. she's the one person in the world whom i envy. and its all because mom and dad don't make her feel like an outcast. they constantly listen to her. they always engage in conversation with her. they never try to change her. they like her the way she is. and i've been doing such a good job at hiding my feelings from them and just talking about random s**t that pops into my head. i know when ashleigh comes back, i'll want to talk about my life and my feelings and my love and stuff the same way that she does. i'll want to be able to talk about hating a teacher without my parents thinking that im a horrible studen/child. but i guess theres a difference in me and ash that i don't realize. i mean, i know they dont accept me, they don't understand me, they want to get along with me without knowing me. it just kinda hurts that they can listen to ash but not me in the same way.
anyways, i guess i shouldn't care about that. the good thing is that i should be able to get my own comp in no time. that means lots of downloads, privacy, and lots of time to get on when i need to at one o clock in the morning due to insomnia and mike won't be able to tell me to get off and wake him up at six.
theres always a bright side. later guys. thanks for reading.
i love you.
 the_forgotten_thought · Fri Aug 08, 2008 @ 05:57pm · 2 Comments |
