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no one reads this anymore. at least it can be personal then. |
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well, i'm a retarded loser. i just bought a comp after saving since the 5th grade, right? well, i'm just the kind of retarded loser who's gonna buy a comp without checking if it has wifi capability! ugh. good news: i might be able to buy hardware to install by tuesday and i still have some cash to pay for it.
anyways, so i was reading this book and it's totally opened my eyes. i mean, the one work of literature based entirely on the problems in poitics, and i'm learning lots of life lessons! get this, the book is the jungle by upton sinclair (what the hell kinda name is that?!) and it's written quite simply. it's about immigrants in the early 1900's and it letterally changed the course of history in america by bringing attention to the problems in working environments. anyways, so the workers are immigrants and they keep getting cheated. guess what just happened with my comp? well, they have an excuse. they don't speak the language wll and had too much trust. anyways, it also talks about how this man is trying to do everything in his power to keep his family and wife especially going. whenever he's faced with a problem, he always respnds by saying "ill work harder." i think that that's the phrase that's gonna change my life.
the greatest talkers are the least doers. i talk so much about my dreams but how i have so many potential obsticals in the way. never have i said "i'll work harder." that's what i need to do. i need to not think about all these extra things and focus on the work that will help me achieve my goals.
ok, way off topic now. i was looking at my old journal entry and was like "whoa, i just realized something that i've prolly realized a million times but am gonna acknowledge now". forever my mom has been noticing things wrong with me. i always talk about insanity and stuff right? well, my mom's been thinking that i have adhd for a long time, and she's never done anything about it. total hypocrite status, cuz she's always saying how parents need to get their kids help for that. anyways, well, that's her dodging the fact that her daughter has a problem! now look at this. my mom had suspected i was gay for a while. but when i was forced out (haha, more than once) she continued to not believe me. anyone else seeing a pattern out there? my mom loves me enough to do anything in her power to lie to herself and deny i have a problem! i dunno whether to be touched by that or insulted. i'm gonna go with touched, only cuz it makes me feel good.
moving on yet again, i've found a solution to one of my problems! i'm a really slow reader. i confuse numbers and letters sometimes and have to read over. in computor class, i had to sing the alphebet song to remember which letter was next! but i was reading in the car today and i was listening to music, and i was reading fairly fast and hardly had to look back to understand at all! so my problem is that to concentrate, i need a distraction. obviously, this discovery isn't gonna do s**t for me while at school, but the good news is that i've realized the problem. i can help myslef with homework!
ok, i'm done. ifyou've bothered to read this, thanks. if not, ******** you. your not seeing this anyways. ok, later. loves you
 the_forgotten_thought · Sun Aug 31, 2008 @ 06:06am · 0 Comments |
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