i dunno. like, i have a lot to say but none of it matters cuz it's all irrelevant and stupid and mindless kinda like how i am at school. i mean, i think i'm getting stupid. i had a dream the other night that was EVERYWHERE! ok, so it started out in a car, which makes sense cuz i love cars! ok, then it went to this thing where it just kinda blacked out and there was a kitty. like, not a cat, but not a kitten. like, just a young cat. then it started meowing but this puppy next store grew huge and they started fightning. then one of my teachers from last year grabbed a kitten outta nowhere and drove away. then, it blacked out AGAIN, and i saw a bowl of rice krispies with sugar being sprinkled onto it, and everything got really cold, like the perfect temperature for milk on cereal. and then i woke up after rolling onto my dog. it was so friggen random. and lately in class i've been spacing out at random, and i've been caring even less about school, and i don't wanna fail, but i have no more perserverance and all that i care about it figuring out how to make a schedule that involves me going into autoshop for an elective yet still not having to do pe; thinking about my mesa projects; and thinking about getting outta here asap. i mean, it's prolly wrong how much i'm starting to lose forgiveness for the world around me. i cant forgive my dad anymore. i'm trying not to let myself get close to my mom again, because i know it'll only hurt, but she's just so weird that i can't help but forgive her, and i hate thinking that i can only love one of my parents. and i wanna just get outta here cuz i don't wanna face any of them except mikey. i just... i dunno what i want exactly at this point. i wanna not be stupid. i wanna be smart. i wanna not think about having to take pe, cuz that's the LAST thing i want (i've grown so uncoordinated over the summer that lately, when i run, i have to watch every step closely to make sure i dont' trip!) and yeah. i just wish time would go a bit faster.
 the_forgotten_thought · Sun Oct 26, 2008 @ 10:38pm · 0 Comments |
