i can't believe how ******** up i am. and sometimes i wonder why i make these stupid assumptions that result in me being a b***h like i am. like, honestly, i just feel like s**t. and it's not cuz i need to lecture myself about learning to get over the past and learning to love the world. it's just, i can't believe how much fun i'm having while ******** up at the same time!
ok, so i was texting zoe today and what happened was that she had made plans to hang out at noon, but then kept making it later and later the the point where i was just like, ******** it! she's never gonna hang out! then jerry came to my house and said he was gonna go over to zach's and hang out. i figured, sure, since zoe is too damn busy for me. and i dunno, i guess you could say i'm an impatient brat like that, but seriously, it was three something and we had planned to hang out at noon! i was at the point of seriously just giving up on it unless she called and then me and jerry would pick her up.
time went by and jerry and i found ourselves at kts. finally at that time (after about a forty minute walk because jerry doesn't really cross against the lights) zoe decides to text me about "If we go out..." so i said in response that we were already at kts and she's welcome to meet us there. but she just got all pissy in response and i dunno, i was really tired so i didn't think much of it. i thought it was one of those angry impulses.
anyways, so i have tons of fun with zach jerry and alex (cuz kt had to leave at 6:45) and when i got home, i read a comment on a myspace bulletin where zoe was complaining about me flaking.
ok, yeah, i feel kinda ******** up cuz i guess i kinda ditched her. but i told her to meet us at kts! i never said that since i was with other people we couldn't hang out! hell, she's their friend just as much as mine! it would've been fine! so i dunno. i feel kinda ******** up and as if she's pissed, but she's always pissed at me.
s**t, i'm at the point where half of the people who know me love me and half of them are pissed at me! i'm sick of that kinda s**t! damn.
 the_forgotten_thought · Mon Jan 05, 2009 @ 05:59am · 1 Comments |
