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I think i'm finally beginning to understand myself. ugh, i go through this every time that i spend time alone; its the precise reason that people don't like being by themselves, afterall. i think, though, that i'm finally having an understanding of what's goin on up here in my own lil world.
see, my world's been on fire. don't get me wrong, i've always wanted to set the world on fire, then sit and watch it burn. it's almost romantic, watching the orange from the flames merge with the natural firey colors from the sunset as you sit back and watch the chaos unfold. think about it, frantic people running, around not knowing what to do. it just sounds peaceful to think that we'd be the only ones in the world to know what's going on and how to react: give up hope and accept the end. it can only get better from here...
wow, insanely off-topic! but yeah, it's not so cool when your own lil world in your head is going insane. i mean, it's like, impeaching it's cerebral rulers and rebelling against itself and- though this sounds cool, it's not- making me go crazy. but i'm starting to understand why.
see, i'm not just some psychotic teenager. the problem is that i feel useless. it's kinda weird considering i'm content with doing abosultly nothing. but the problem is, i always have to help people. it stems from people always coming to me with their pathetic drama, but the thing is, i've been outta school so long and so understimulated that i'm starting to feel worthless.
now, i dunno if that's supposed to cause some sort of testosterone overload, but that's what's happening to me! i mean, no lie, i'm getting these random feelings to go out and destroy stuff! like, i wanna fight or go out and vanalize and just wreak havoc!
thank god my parents and sis are outta town for the weekend. mike and i can beat each other up and show off how strong we are and basically do what normal brothers (well technically i'm a sister, i guess) do. haha.
 the_forgotten_thought · Sun Aug 02, 2009 @ 08:54am · 0 Comments |
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