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hey, guess what? i'm retarded! yup yup, the double standards and hypocracy have added, and their total equals: RETARDED ******** UP THAT WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A STRONGER CONDOM TO PROTECT US FROM!
remember kids, condoms aren't 100%
haha, yeah, lovin that dark humor, i hope. anyways, i've reached the point that people all seem to give me mixed messages and hate my and i just wanna, you know, do something about it. but right now i'm not in the proper mind frame (a lil... well, too buzzed to beat up my punching bag, ya know? lack of coordination and whatnot) to do anything.
but part of me doesn't wanna. part of me just wants to crawl into a corner, bury my face in my hands, and cry myself into oblivion so i may never see this world again. still, part of me is happy enough so long as i'm not in this house, so i just gotta calm my a** down and get over some s**t right now. but it's not just right now. i predict some s**t in the future. see, it's like this:
my brother has been tested and has DIAGNOSED ADHD. i, on the other hand, have parents who claim they'll do something about my hyperactivity and lack of concentration, and yet don't follow through; therefore, i'm offered no excuse for any imperfection.
i have a sister who takes all AP classes that way whenever she gets a C or D (and once, F) she can blame it on the fact that it's a "college course".
then there's me. there's me with a C in algebra 2 because i didn't do my notebook right so my teacher refused to grade it (yeah, that's 10% down the drain) there's me who doesn't have alcoholism so whenever i have one once in awhile, it's bad, whereas when my sis has one, it's cuz she can't help it, or whatever pathetic excuse they use to allow such behavior.
there's me, who doesn't have teachers constantly hesitating to send me to the office because i'm disruptive; the one who has teachers who will take my challenge and send me to the office, where i launch a formal complaint about them as they have done to me. unlike my sis, who has teachers who think that she's so perfect (cuz she has all AP classes, and AP teachers don't exactly wanna send students outta the "hardest" classes offered at school) so i'm the "bad" child.
you know what? ******** that. i'm sick of going around and saying "******** me. i'm wrong, i can't do a thing right. i wanna cut my wrists." no, i don't wanna be that way anymore. i'm violent; so what? i'm loud; sue me. i have strong beliefs; so does everyone else in this ******** family, but for some reason, they're allowed to vocalize them while i'm silenced. ******** that. i'm sick of it. i don't wanna take it anymore. i don't have to. i'm at the point where i behave like the most emotionless, cold-hearted b***h in the universe, and i don't even mind it. why? cuz they don't deserve me minding it anymore.
what do i care about? basketball, band, and my language classes. oh look mom and dad; oh look opinion of the world. you don't seem to be on the list.
 the_forgotten_thought · Tue Oct 20, 2009 @ 04:41am · 0 Comments |
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