i don't wanna do anything. i don't wanna talk pretty and write my feelings with flowery words to express exactly what's on my mind in a less whiney way to get your attention. i just wanna say how i feel, and not worry if it's ugly or if i sound retarded or if i should just go kill myself cuz i suck. i just wanna talk.
i don't wanna do anything. i don't wanna watch tv. i don't wanna sit online. i don't wanna read or do my homework or practice basketball. i don't wanna be around people. i don't wanna be alone. i don't wanna get up. i don't wanna sleep. i just wanna become a vegetable so i don't have to think. then one day, when i get better and over whatever's causing this emotional stress, maybe i can come back to life and be myself.
maybe then i won't be so hyper. i won't act like nothing's wrong. i won't make an a** out of myself. i won't wanna drink. i won't wanna get arrested. i won't wanna die.
but maybe not. see, it's always that damn "what if" or that stupid "maybe" chance that ruins everything. maybe one day i'll feel good enough for the world. maybe one day i'll be what i wanna be. maybe one day the economy will be good enough for me to not worry about how much my future job pays and i'll be able to focus on important things like whether or not i'm enjoying life. maybe, maybe, maybe.
maybe none of that will come true and the world will collapse into this sea of darkness overthrown by terrible monsters. oh wait, that's how it is today.
who wins in the battle of good and evil? or maybe the real question is will i survive the fight and bask in the glory of a better tomorrow?
 the_forgotten_thought · Sat Oct 24, 2009 @ 09:09pm · 0 Comments |
