so...
one of my best friends is unconscious up in SD. and i miss him so much. i honestly had understood how important he was to me, but the thought of him ever not being there for me had never crossed my mind. today i've finally shaken off the impulse to cry as i walk to my seventh period without him singing in my ear. and i didn't feel too painfully sad that he wasn't next to me to make stupid dirty jokes and plan for the future and discuss life in general on the way home.
we had a great philosophical seventh period (as we were learning... how can i say this? life lessons by walking around and experiencing life in lieu of sitting in a classroom). we talked and dodged the cops, and i had even stopped him from jay-walking into a car. yet another reason i wish i was there the night it happened. i could make him look both ways.
but my life must go on as his must persist to fight. he's not here to philosophize and joke around with me, and i have to get used to it while he's gone. but that's not the only thing that's on my mind.
everyone in my house is so tense and snappy. every word that comes from one's mouth is bathed in venomous sarcasm while all said from the other party is shouted ear-shatteringly loud. i can't stand it. people are walking out, people are fighting, people are crying, and i'm just so fed up with everyone. i don't wanna keep getting dragged into these battles and being forced to take sides (neither which i agree on, most of the time) i don't wanna be the scapegoat anymore. i don't wanna be the kid that everyone undenaibly hates more than anyone else that could possibly piss them off. i'm just so sick of this existance.
on a happier note, summer basketball starts tomorrow. can't wait to have a heart attack on the court and shoot some hoops, just like the good ol' days.
 the_forgotten_thought · Wed May 26, 2010 @ 04:00am · 0 Comments |
